Obama's New Stimulus: Cash for Chokers
The Obama administration is scrambling to blow some more stimulus money before the fiscal year expires today. Obama, who is a huge fan of the dreadful Chicago White Sox, got an idea late Wednesdy night while watching the final game of the baseball season. As most of you know, the Red Sox and Atlanta Braves blew historic September leads and choked on the final game of the season. Thousands of their loyal fans in Boston and Atlanta flew into rage and slammed their radios and smashed their television sets against the wall.
Obama immediately declared Boston and Atlanta federal disaster areas and approved a $1 billion "Cash for Chokers" fund for all the frustrated fans of these two cities. Each frustrated fan who smashed his radio, cell phone, or television set in these two cities is eligible for up to $1,000 in choker funds. All that is required is a picture of your destroyed article and a receipt for the replacement item. Millionaires and billionaires are not eligible for this program, but priority will be given to union members, the unemployed, and the people on food stamps and welfare.
What's next -- bucks for beer?
Obama immediately declared Boston and Atlanta federal disaster areas and approved a $1 billion "Cash for Chokers" fund for all the frustrated fans of these two cities. Each frustrated fan who smashed his radio, cell phone, or television set in these two cities is eligible for up to $1,000 in choker funds. All that is required is a picture of your destroyed article and a receipt for the replacement item. Millionaires and billionaires are not eligible for this program, but priority will be given to union members, the unemployed, and the people on food stamps and welfare.
What's next -- bucks for beer?
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